Me time..

I was reading karen cheng's blog and she mentioned about having 'Me time'. I thought to myself do I ever find 'Me time'. Yup I truly have for the last 2 weeks, in fact when I'm at work sometimes I do find myself listening to my own thoughts while in the lift alone, driving etc.
Last night, after putting Ashlynn to bed I quickly made the effort to turn on some music and sit on my sofa to read. Gosh....I was smiling from ear to ear, there was peace. Only 20min before hub came back from his jog. It takes effort to break out of being a communal person to find time for myself. I hate to eat alone when I'm out, I rather starve. But other than that I love the idea of going for swims alone and simply reflecting amist the rippling sounds of water.
I have been making effort to got for a swim while Ashlynn naps and exercising can take some motivation many a times. I tell myself I will never regret it even if its a 20min swim, then I drag myself to the pool. True enough, I've been very happy.
I'll be finding more 'Me time', before 2nd one pops. I'm still trying to think of a name for her....any ideas....I'm so so fussy!!!

Back from hols...

It was a good trip to Aussie. We had a 'rojak' of emotions daily with the little gal ard. My mum asked me when we were back whether hub and me quarrelled during the trip. I paused and then said, gosh we had no time and energy to quarrel. Every little time we had we would quieten down and talk about our lives and just enjoy the moment. Yipee....I finally got what hub has been trying to tell me all this while....'Live the moment'.

I put on 3kg since my return and the nurse at my gynae's clinic was complaining out front to Ashlynn. The tummy just ballooned and in 2 weeks the bb put on a kilo. Imagine the sudden load I was carrying around. But I'm enjoying preghood and really scared of going through labour, especially the episotomy part.

I've got a favorite self-protrait of me as a ballooning dugong to share. Really its a hilarious shot I find. No killer whales I told my husband just a tame omnivorous dugong.

Our last trip before the 2nd pops and till the next trip, this has been a memorable fun filled one. And can only to made possible with hub being so amazingly hands on in caring for Ashlynn and of coz the little rascal who helped aroused the zillion emotions in us. Love

Feelings after a period of absence

Hub was home after a week and it was a pretty long period of absence given that we are used to seeing each other everyday,conversing on the phone ampteen times. I felt different when he was home. More polite towards each other. Hub says coz we didnt hv a built up of 'hatred' over the week. Haha....true sometimes we really need our personal space and being away awhile once in a while may help relieve some of the stress.

It was to the Birdpark on the 17th Jan to get some family bonding with Ashlynn. Ironically we never got shots of the BIRDS. Alittle disappointing coz we felt the birds to be catching up with age and high time they bring in new ones. Ticket prices were soaring high too, just to view 'old birds'.


CNY is on Mon, goodies have been brought in. Though there is this weird side of me that the sights of the tidbits turn me off now. Only when the festival is over will I crave for some sinful pineapple tarts.


Sch term has come to a closure for me now till after I pop and return in June. Pregnancy has been fabulous so far, though the tummy has revealed itself suddenly over the span of the last mth. Weight slowly increasing. its 56kg now.....only when we are ballooning graceful do we openly spill out our most sacred number.


To a good ox year

Thoughts..during sickness

Yesterday was the worst Sunday I put myself through. I was a 'Merlion' the moment I woke and the world was spinning soon later. It was to the doc in the afternoon and I'm down with food poisoning cum gastric flu. Hub was good to take care of Ashlynn while I was immobile. I never thought I would get food poisoning ,just by eating 'pig intestines'. I've eaten that countless times and given the dirty stuff I eat during our backpack trips. I thought I had a dirty tummy by nature. I could only pray to god and wish for energy to return. Ashlynn was having a running nose too,she hasnt been eating well. Thanx to mum who took care of her for the nite while Hub and me returned home to hibernate. Hub is down with gastric flu too...can you imagine 2 buffaloes who usually would be well and jumpy but suddenly collapsing into a stumper in seperate rooms in case the reinfect each other. What a sight!
As I toss in bed to sleep I pray that hub recovers, Ashlynn sleeps well at mum's and I get myself up and going soon.
Was telling hub if anything happens I've always felt loved in different ways and have loved him much too. He usually gives hugs in return and tells me to sleep. I guess he knows medicine makes a person have morbit thoughts.
What has cheered me up and brought tears of happiness is the union of my dear fren Geraldine with her soulmate Brian. We were not that close during school days but as ppl grow older they find frenship again and reunderstand each other. I guess that's what's happening to us. Truly happy for her.

Still cant believe it

Being in the academic line a new year begins for me when school reopens and this 2009 school reopens on the 5th Jan. And that kind of sets me into the reality that 2008 is GONE!!!!
Its going to be a short 3 weeks of school before it closes for the long break----10 weeks!! To readers it means no work no $$$. Got to save save save and maybe ask for donation from readers haha...that's so evil.
I need to plan out exactly how I'm going to spend the 10 weeks, not going to waste it. I remember my schools holidays were spent mugging no time wasted. And I guess I never regretted not wilding my time away. Any suggestions my dear readers??
I've a few things lined up already 1) Aussie trip, 2) Exe with Ashlynn, 3)Taking up piano lessons again, 4) Brush up on photography
These are really secondary to the daily tasks of caring for myself, Ashlynn, having time for hub, making time for extended family.
Juggling....thats what we all do. I feel like a clown haha.

Ending of 2008

X'mas was super crazy this year, one gathering after another. Gosh....Hub had a long long weekend and he said he never felt so tired. I guess age is catching up with him. Simple gathering and partying wears him off. What's gotten into us??

I sit back and try to recall the events that took place this year. Ashlynn's monthly milestones, juggling work with her and balancing role of wifey as well. Hub sent me a msg it says " Its Dec and the year is coming to an end...Love you and thank you for another good year". This little appraisal is like my year end bonus.

No presents this year coz it was all accumulated into the little blue box. But the joy of just having your love ones close to you and watching them being happy and healthy is my biggest gift i could ask for.

Merry X'mas and here we come to conquering 2009

X'mas....spells the starting of a new yr

This week is X'mas week. The thought of X'mas makes me think of the events of the yr. 2008 I made a decision to go part time and care for Ashlynn. It was not an easy decision and when moments for down for me I sometimes question my choice. But the answer would be for the sake of watching her grow. Truly it has been the most fruitful journey.
She can now point to all parts of her body, even able to differantiate the male and female anatomy...sometimes in public and it can get alittle embarassing. She has attempted to run and gosh within a day or 2 she is now running really fast. Hub commented she has this ability to catch her step and nv falling. I'm keeping fingers crossed on that.
X'mas started last wkend with gathering between frenz of 10 yrs. Ashlynn was sociable even willingly giving out canned drinks but not forgetting to sneak a can of beer for herself to 'sip'. It was not opened but the scene of her 'drinking' quietly in the TV room was such a funny sight. No pic just memories.
Hub is away in Thailand again till late late on X'mas eve. What a choice of time but at least he's home for X'mas. So loooking forward to another party at a neighbour's home....we got new charismatic frenz.
What's in for next year?? A longer holiday in Aussie and a another baby gal..........yipee Ashlynn has a playmate!!!

when mummy's away

Hub always tells me to live the moment...more impt then taking pic of the moment. Butwhile I was away I left the camera at home hoping to catch a few shots what wat goes on when I'm away. And true enough hub made some effort and I thought he did a fantastic job with Ashlynn. In fact he himself was so proud of his 3 full days of caring for her, he nv stops to self praise....shameless...hhaha.... Here are the pic...preparing to take her to the lib then to the museum.

Back....

I'm back in hot humid Sg. I used to hate coming back from my holidays but this time round I was hoping to return to my darlings... Ashlynn the small and hub the big. Besides the air was really bad in HK and mum was slowly developing whooping cough. So I'm actually quite glad to be back, though as usual I will miss the daily dosage of HK milk tea (cold).
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, hub was really missing my absence. Hahaha...man learning the importance of companionship the hard way. Hee.....
My preg has been good so far. I pray and thank god for that given how some of my frenz are really having a hard time. We've thinking of a name for the 2nd and its tougher the 2nd time round. More updates on the choice of the name soon k....Merry X'mas to all. Its the season to give and spend less on oneself.

Trust

I'm going away for a short break in HK with mum and sis. Seriously I'm not really that excited about it, maybe coz I'm leaving hub and Ashlynn behind. Just feels different without them. Also I'm worried if hub will be able to take good care of her. He reassured me....so I muz rem 'trust'.
Have to let go sometimes.............

Some days............

Some days you wake up feeling tired and wish the alarm clock breaks down. Ignorance is bliss. Some days you wake up ready to go. These few days has been extremely tiring for both hub and myself. Ashlynn has suddenly come down with flu. Too much mucus stuck in a nose and when it flows down she gets choke and b4 we know it she was a 'Merlion' at 9pm on a Mon nite. Gosh.....it pains to hear the agony cries and see the discomfort of her trying to zz but yet fear of even to lie down.
It was to the doc last nite and it has been sleepless nite due to us getting up to put her into position the moment she cries and it sound like her suffocating.
Morning i hate to wake but to motivate both hub and me, I'll smile stupidly in the mirror and tell him its a Wed, middle of the week and it will get better today. Hopefully it works, but hub will smile and we will try to forget the tiredness and work our way to survive the Wed.
Haha.....self-deceive at times but I think once in a while we all need this to keep ourselves and the ones around going.
Hub is more straight in the face. He says in sms "Mumsy its going to be tougher today, but hang on ok? Love you..." Jus a msg will make me hang on....such a silly me.

Absence

Hub was away in Thailand for work for the last 4 days. Gosh....I was to be alone with Ashlynn. I enjoy the idea but at the same time I must confess that Hub helps to comfort her if she does cry in the middle of the nite. This usually takes place at 4.30AM.
I decided it will be a 4 day summer retreat back at my mum's place. Ashlynn had a splendid time. With so much love and constant attention, she eats and sleep well so not to mention there was a sudden weight increase too. I'm quite happy. She sleeps by 9pm too. But its the wee hours in the nite that can be a worry. She got up on all 3 nites that we were sleeping there. Twice I had to give her milk before she fell asleep again and at times it took near an hour.
Was it too much fun?? Or was it becoz it was a new environment? Beats me, but I'm quite glad she is back in her own bed now and hopefully I get a good nite's sleep.
I was kind of like a single mother the last 4 days. I really salute to those who's husbands are constantly on the go and they handle everything themselves. Also really appreaciate hub's presence. As the saying goes " Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
Yippeee..hub is coming back tonite!!!!!

The scary halloween weirdos

A supposedly shopping trip at Haji lane turned out to be a release of childhood craziness....oops...Ashlynn was an innocent accomplice.

Its been awhile

Its been awhile...I disappeared fm cyberworld. I have been hving too many fun filled activities, so much reflections until I had no time to spill it out in writing.
Brough Ashlynn to the zoo last Sat during the long Deepavali break, she has learnt to make the elephant trunk's motion with her arms, nv got to take a pic of it but its just so adorable. promise to capture that moment to share soon. Everyday she's developing, learning new words. Her vocab has so far been: ball,Dog, 'woof' in her own special choking way, park(which means playground), bree...(for umbrella), please & thank you (hand signs), shoes, sock, stop etc. she understands almost most instructions though many a times she chooses to be in denial,play cheeky and goes against. She has also learn to throw tantrums, hmmm...I'm trying to recall the days I was preg with her. Was I a tantrum thrower??
Alright enough of Ashlynn, I'm going to turn -- on Mon. My bdae is near the end of the year and I honestly really look forward to the day coz the silly me cant wait to make my 1 bdae wish. Hub and I had alittle quarrel over my bdae present, shall not elaborate and make a closure coz he knows what the problem is.
This week is term break...really enjoying time off to zz and rest. Feeling less tired, I guess coz I'm into my 2nd trimester.
Counting down......;-P

Overwhelmed....

Hvnt blogged for some time. Frankly I have been overwhelmed by alot of emotions. We cant blame everything on Preg hormones. Some nasty comments have been said about me of course not by loved ones coz I would only take that as a route to improvement. The emotions that have been aroused by those comments are sadness and lots of thoughts. I'm definately not sad for myself, I'm so busy enjoying my life to even be saddened by nasty comments. Just thought its sad to watch a young tree being infested by deadly insects and there is no way of saving it through external means. The young tree needs to produce a self-defence mechanism soon before it wastes away. Its sad for a plant lover like me to watch things die and I cant do anything about it. Why did it get infested by deadly insects? Why didnt the insect attack the other trees? Is it because the tree didnt love itself as much thus god chose it to die? Gosh.....such morbid thoughts coming from me.

Children are like white pieces of paper. Its really up to us as parents to tranform them into beautiful pieces of art. Art being subjective various from one to another. That's why we have so many different characters out there. What kind of art do I want? We'll know only many many years later.....but I do hope my art will be filled with love, laughter, happiness, warmth....all the ingrediants required to make people enjoy being with it.

* Ashlynn's latest fashion accessory

Hormones

When I 1st started blogging I vowed that I will be a happy blogger. I want to bring a cheer to people who read my blog. But I guess at this point of time I need a little comfort just from the raging 'sad' hormones.
During my 1st preg I was a happy kid in the day until I retreat to bed by 10.30pm and I would have worrisome or sad thoughts coming to mind. Then tears would flow. This take place quite often in a week until hub would forcefully put me to bed before 10.30pm and avoid talking to me at all course in case he hits a sensitive nerve of mine. My mum constantly reminds me that my kid might turn out a cry baby if i continue with my nightly episodes. That really made me control my hormones to a certain extent subconsciously.
Gosh....this 2nd preg I'm a little more tired maybe cause I got to keep going after Ashlynn. But certain my sad hormones are coming back but this time its anytime anywhere. Anything can trigger my 'eye tap'. Even really happ blogs make me go all emotional.
I MUST!!!! control the hormones.....the 2nd kid is going to be as happy as Ashlynn..........I MUST!!!!

Bonding

My maternal instincts have been settling in. I see dads going out with 2 kids and i tell hub it will be he's turn soon and he smiles. I knows he enjoys time with Ashlynn alone. Coz there will be no naggy wifey in the background calling out to him to watch for Ashlynn etc.

In fact Ashlynn just loves to hang around hub watching him, be it vacuuming the car or gardening. Cant imagine we have double trouble...gosh...but I think hub will hv his way of handling.

These two wkends either hub or myself will bring Ashlynn out to the playground for her morning fun on the slides, swing etc. Coz she wakes up so early at 7am so last Sun he took her out to play before I joined them after an hour more of sleep in. Boy...she was so engrossed in her play she forgot even to hug me when i was in sight. Good that they had their time together.

This wkend I must recover from my cough so I can take her out for a swim.....I miss water fun!!!

Whooping.....

I blew my whole weekend or should I say the whole week. I developed a terrible cough, I think coz my immune system has been alittle weak coupled with close contact with a carrier--->Hub. I'm down......attacked!!!! I hate to cough coz it draws my energy away from the normal hyper self. Hub has also come up with his own theories as always to help me recover. He made me stiff a big steaming jar of hot water filled with EUCALYPTUS essential oil, hammering my back in the mornings and nites to get my phlegm flowing out, getting me to join him in gardening under the hot sun etc. I must say though some theories sound torturing, but they all kind of worked to some extent.
We had an extreme boost of omega 3 too fm all the sashimi we ate on Fri and Sat. Made my mind work doubly hard at nite. And baby 2 probably was having dreams too.
Update on Ashlynn, she's been sleeping well and through the nite and growing fast coz she's increasing her intake of food. Really glad weaning her was not that hard after all.
I wan to GET WELL!!

Tired but feeling good

I'm really really tired from my whooping cough. Got the germs from YY the carrier a few days ago. Gosh its potent!!! But me the stuborn mummy will do all to recover....drink only hot water, no cold food and junk food.
So this evening I'm alone with Ashlynn coz YY has some clients over from Thailand. I was alittle worried about having to put her to bed alone now that the tits are not suppose to be in function. But I tell you she has never been more a darling then today.
Here's her timetable: 8.30pm- Willingly grab the milk bottle and lay down on pillows to drink.
8.40pm- Done!!
9pm- She helps to clear up her toys
9.05pm- Lights out, she climbs into bed snuggles into me and hug me to zz.
9.15pm------ZZZZZZ

It was such a good feeling coz at first I was so afraid she will want the tits but she has been very understanding. I hope this continues and I can soon wean her off. Really so thankful, brought tears to my eyes.

2nd....

Friends that know me will know how much I love kids and I hate the idea of dying alone with no one to carry my picture. What a morbid thought, but really I feel that if I do bring up my kids well they should be filial, I hope so.

Anyway I have been MIA for quite some time, coz 1st I was really busy planning for Ashlynn's birthday, packing and going on our Trip to Danang (Vietnam) and the latest....I'm POSITIVE for the 2nd.

The 1st worry that came to mind was I am to stop breast feeding of Ashlynn. She has turned 1yr and she has adapted well to cow's milk. But at nite she needs a last suckle before going to bed. Gosh.....I'm a cow. I got to stop coz I do feel tummy cramps after feeding her and I reckon its contractions. My gynae's nurse told me on the phone that I will have to stop. Ok Ashlynn shall have to undergo cold Turkey tonite.

Some series shots of Vietnam coming soon. So 1st presenting Miss Saigon.

A year!!

I planned a birthday bash for Ashlynn yesterday. Actually the menu for the party surfaced many weeks ago. I was trying to cater to carni-, omni- adults and also to herbi- ones. Most importantly to CHILDREN!!! It was pretty enjoyable coming up with food fit for all. Gosh I forgot to take pic of the spread I made. From spagetti, to chinese meat roll, Devil's eggs, salsa dessert etc...and an expensive Lychee Martini cake. I had fun cooking up a storm and I think my guests had no complains. It was a small party coz 'fortunately' many of my good gal friends had to b excused days early to 'pop'. But Ashlynn had their well wishes way ahead.
Though there were only 4 kids, it was more than to watch. They self-entertained with balloons and thanx to the rain there was more fun.
I had a sore throat after the party,but all for the fun of playing host to great mothers and frenz who came by.Just cant imagine how these wonderful gals have been giving me support during this 1 year. Really treasured frenship.
Tmr its off to Vietnam for some Sun, sand, food......more unknowns. Pics will b up later....

Bz....laz.....

Interesting how words come abt. excuses such as buzzzzzzzzzzzzz...and laz............ sounds so alike. ok That's me I hvnt updated the latest for the week coz it has been really tough getting to the comp without having Ashlynn wanting to press some buttons.
The weekend Hub and me were up to our necks, trying to rent out our nest, running ard doing errands. Coz this Sat I'm planning Ashlynn's 1st birthday bash. Not much of a bash, just couple of good friends with their kids coming together to share Ashlynn growing chapter in life. I'm going to cook up a storm to satisfied our guests stomach. Details will be out only later. Suprise u know.
I signed up some pics under mumcentre.com. The links are as follows: There are 3 category so must click on the 3 different links to vote by Mon 24th Aug.

Cover model category:

http://www.mumcentre.com/index.php?option=com_rsgallery2&catid=1898&page=vote&picid=9546


Baby category:

http://www.mumcentre.com/index.php?option=com_rsgallery2&catid=1890&page=vote&picid=9548


Family category:

http://www.mumcentre.com/index.php?option=com_rsgallery2&catid=1891&page=vote&picid=9547

Some crazy shot fm the weekend. Ashlynn trying out the sling which was comfy for her but back breaking for me. Next Hub at work wow she's also at work rammaging my basket of bikini...

Little fasinations

When we were little we can fasinated by the tiniest things. Even the wind that blows into Ashlynn's face can make her go gaga. Sometimes when hub tells me something which I have no reaction but I would think a younger chic would just go crazy laughing. Is it as we age we seem to assume and make alot of preassumptions. That's when trouble begans,we stop discovering about many things. Hmm.... got to look into my attitude towards hub's ''jokes'.
Here's to Ashlynn's recent favorite fasinations.

The kiss

Was uploading our wedding pic on facebook. Gosh...it seems like centuries ago since I got wedded.The thought that went through my mind the nite after Hub proposed to me was can I sleep with this man on the same bed for the rest of my life. I closed my eyes and picture him lying beside me and there was an instant glow in me. That was then....what about now?? The ans is still yes. We tell oursleves we must not go to bed angry and if we wake the next day,we must forgive the one next to us. We've done so so far and our marriage has been doing ok.
I looked through our wedding pictures and the moment that was super scary and exciting for me was waiting alone for him to get me. I was 'sweating' ,I thought this is it, I'm going to go through thick and thin with this man. And there was no turning back after that big fat wet kiss.

Moments...in my life.

Jam Packed wkend

Wkends for me start on a Fri. I usually try and squeeze in as many activities as possible. Hub is totally different,he has been on the road the whole wk so he really prefers a good book while lying on the floor(literally). But he has obligingly given in to all my requests except a movie on a Sun nite was a no no. Anyway by then I was super tired but was just too stuborn just to watch the Sun nite waste away.
We visited the Garden Festival which was rather impressive. The 1st time we were buying tickets for an event in S'pore.Usually we stay away from the crowds.Ashlynn had great fun running around while we were trying to get her off the danger zones.Kids are really fearless at this point in their life. I guess its we adults put the word fear into their brains.Sometimes unintentionally. To scare them off the danger zone.
Hub and me only get to rest when she's asleep. Huweaw..........she really resembles me in some sense. Unstoppable...

Walking and Biting

Ashlynn's milestone in development is that she has started walking at 10mths. She now walks pretty steadily round the house like a kapo supervisor. I took a video of her during her 1st few attempts to walk. In the video you get to see her shaking head to say no, and her way of getting things is to BITE. Gosh I think she learnt that from our pet dog Fluffy.

She's really growing fast and furious.....

Birthday

When my little sister blew our her candles last nite there were lots of emotions in me. I watched her grow from a little worm in the baby basket to now a young lady who can earn her own keep just by selling accessories. She gave a heartwarming speech at the end under the eyes of many many young adults. I was close to tears. My baby sister is no more a baby, its time for me to loosen my grip and let her go freer. I must realise that she is more than ready to take care of her ownself. Happy birthday Fatty!!

Waiting

Did I mention that I hate to wait. Ok nobody likes to wait in the first place. I'm right now waiting for Hub to get me hm fm work/sch. I have this anxiety in me,some might say just do my stuff while I wait but have u had this kind of kan cheong feeling. Then you dun know what to do but just stare into space. Ok I'm blogging now at least. My hub would tell me to go take a walk or do something. Its a Fri, yipee the weekend......time with family. Cant WAIT!!!

An Aunt's loving chore

Over the weekend Ashlynn spent some time with her Aunt while I took some time off with hub to do some shopping. Her nails grow in such an alarming rate I always get complains that she is scratching someone somewhere, anywhere everywhere. Sometime I get lazy trying to squabble with this growing big worm while I cut her nails. And guess what my sis has been so willingly taking up this chore. And each time she cuts Ashlynn's nails she demos on her own nails first.What a sacrifice....and see how Ashlynn just stays still and allows her nails to be chopped off.

My cheekyness?

Was going through the picture taken over the weekend and found the above image of Ashlynn. Boy.....she has definately grown in all sense and my god she can give that cheeky smile with those eyes at 10 1/2 mths. Will she turn out to be as a rebel as her mum. This is so exciting.