I'm back from our 16 day long road trip with Ashlynn. It was great fun but we missed Andrelle. Leaving her in Sg was a tough choice and most importantly hving to risk the fact that she might not wan to suckle when I get back.
Fri at midnite, I could not wait to get her on my boobs. The closeness, I yield for it from my baby. She took a few minutes but she remembered me. I was so so relieved.
Sat she had boobie as well as bottle.
Sun she had boobie as well as bottle.
Mon the same.
Tue she snapped........no more boobie,only bottle.
The next few days running up to now I've been trying, but she has refused.
The last time she went on strike was when she was 8+mths, I brought her to boobie watch at Parent Craft at Thomson Med. It worked. So I thought it this time round I bring her to a neighbour's place to boobie watch. Low and behold, my fren Vanessa tried to breastfeed her. Andrelle was close to suckling when she looked into Vanessa's face. Ooops...wrong mum and she wailed. However, Athena who is Van's 13mth gal was happy to suckle on my boobs.
I brought Andrelle again to Parentcraft in the afternoon. But she's happy being a busybody to the other babies. Poking at their small feet, smiling at the nurses instead of tasting ME.
I'm sad, I miss the closeness.
I ask myself truthfully why do I still want to breastfeed her. Reasons: 1) Convenience 2)Ashlynn will start school and suckling tells the body to make more milk so that will be ample supply for both my gals.
Am I ready to let go, I'm not. I'm going to Parentcraft again tmr. If not successful, I'm still going to keep up my 'pumping' regiment of 5 times a day. Pray and wish me luck.
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